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I wondered how I would feel one year later, and it still brings instant ache to my heart when I think of her. Don't ever take for granted the good ones, you never know when they'll be gone.

I am not sure I'll be able to find the words to express how badly my heart hurts right now.

But I feel I owe it to this incredible little mare to find them.

We found Ryder with a mild case of colic this morning and I gave her some banamine and took her for a little trailer ride, tried and true method. Unfortunately, she took a sudden turn for the worse and I rushed her to the vet. She was not in good shape so we did what we could to make her comfortable and I drove as fast as I could to Idaho Equine. That was the longest two hours of my life. I just knew in my heart of hearts she wasn't going to make it. The awesome team at Idaho Equine rushed her into surgery but we saw right away that the damage was far too significant, and she was euthanized on the table.

They gave me a chance to say goodbye to her in the OR before they helped her go and I thanked her for being such an amazing horse, apologized for this happening and promised to take good care of Bourbon for her.

I am ridden with guilt as this is a common type of colic with broodmares. Since about 5 months bred, she had several mild cases of gas colic which were easily resolved but this time it wasn't. I love Bourbon but I can truthfully say it wasn't worth losing Ryder.

Over the past decade I've done so many things on this little mare, she was one of the best horses I've ever had the privilege of swinging a leg over. From skijoring, to jumping, dragging calves to the fire and everything in between she gave us her heart. Even in what had to be immense pain she complied with our every request as we desperately tried to help her.

I know to many it's just a horse but to me she is everything hopes and dreams are made of.

Rest easy sweet friend, I'll miss you forever. ~